The Night of Loyalty and Loss
by Gorgolo Chick
Summary: A discussion the morning after the episode "The Night of the Big Blast".


The Night of Loyalty and Loss

_(The morning after the episode 'The Night of the Big Blast')_

by Gorgolo Chick

"Good morning, James my boy! What can I cook up for your breakfast?" Artemus Gordon greeted his bleary-eyed partner jovially.

Jim gave him a disbelieving glare. "Uh, you mind keeping your voice down? And just give me some black coffee. Lots of black coffee."

"Oh, come on, you need more than that." Artie stepped up to where his friend stood near the door to the corridor and gave him a grin and a whack on the back. "Why don't I whip you up a nice omelet and some fried potatoes and a thick ham steak?"

"Why are you torturing me?" Jim put his hands to his head and stumbled to a golden plush settee. After dropping onto it, he looked up and scowled. "And why are you so cheerful, anyway, considering that you drank even more than I did last night?"

"Which question do you want answered first?" Artie smiled.

"Just the first one. I know all about your astounding capacity for liquor. But why punish me?"

"Because of what you did to me yesterday. You know, the reason I went out drinking and you came along for the ride?"

Jim's brow wrinkled and he frowned for a moment with his lips slightly pursed.

"I thought that was because Lily Fortune refused your proposal?" he finally answered.

Artie leaned one elbow on the sideboard near the door to the forward section of the parlor car. He laced his fingers together and spoke reasonably. "And why, my hung-over friend, did the beautiful and delightful Miss Fortune say 'no'?"

"Because she thinks our line of work is too dangerous?"

"Ah," Artie suddenly lifted one finger and hardened his voice. "But I had the propitious moment at hand when, with a few kisses and persuasive words, I might have been able to dissuade her from that belief." He leaned forward with a fierce frown, pointing at Jim. "At which exact moment you chose to pop the cork on that blasted champaign bottle and startle her, giving overwhelming impetus to her memories of the whole incident with Dr. Faustina and her exploding duplicates of us."

"Oh, that." Jim looked away.

"Yes, that. James, you did it deliberately!" Artie paused and his frown went from fierce to sad. "Why would you do such a thing to me? You knew perfectly well how I feel about Lily – you even voiced my proposal for me when I got momentarily tongue-tied."

Jim suddenly stood up and stepped toward Artie. He put his hands on his partner's shoulders and looked at him gravely. "You're right, Artemus. That was very wrong and I apologize. Please forgive me?"

Artemus met his gaze and held a frown for a long moment. Then his face softened and he shook his head with a chuckle. "Of course I forgive you, Jim." He paused again. "But on one condition."

"Anything, Pal." Jim smiled, squeezed Artie's shoulder, and turned to go back to the settee. "What is the condition?" he asked as he sat down.

"Explain to me your thought processes that made you do that?"

Jim snorted and let his face take on a sheepish grin. "Honestly? I wasn't actually thinking anything. I guess I just panicked. It suddenly occurred to me that if you were to get married, I might lose you as a partner and traveling companion."

"Don't be silly. Lily obviously knows I'm not ready to give this life up."

"Hey, I didn't say it was logical. I just had this flash of never getting to work together with you again, and acted on it."

"Like you always do when you sense an emergency." Artie shook his head with a small laugh and leaned casually against the sideboard. "Jim, do you really think I could just give all this up in an instant? Anyway, I'm really not in a mood lately to risk you running around without me to look out for you. Hell, for a while there I thought the minute I turned my back for a little vacation you'd gone off and gotten yourself blown up."

His gaze turned downward for a moment. Then he looked up and spoke again even more earnestly. "You have no idea how bad it hurt to think you were dead. And that the Service was willing to believe that you'd died a traitor!" A flush and a scowl had taken over Artemus' face.

Jim spoke quietly from where he sat. "Hey, you want to know something, Artie?" he asked. "What matters is that _you_ never believed it."

Artie gave him a quizzical look, and then nodded his head. "Yeah, I know you're incapable of treason. But I also know you _are_ capable of being killed, and I did believe that part. That you were dead, I mean. I could deal with it while I was on the move, working to prove your innocence. But after Dr. Faustina and her trained gorilla locked me up in that cell… well, then all I could do was think about you being dead."

"I understand completely how you felt. But hey, at least you had some hope that there was a mistake. _You_ didn't think you'd seen me die, or that you were the one who killed me."

"Of course not, but you never…" Artie paused. "You mean when Dr. Loveless gave you that drug and you hallucinated about…"

"I believed I had deliberately killed you. At least you didn't have guilt on top of it all."

"A black thought indeed," Artie agreed. "Even so, my very dear friend, I think I can sympathize more than ever with you on that incident." Artie moved toward the door to the galley. "I'll get you that coffee." He stopped in the doorway.

"Jim? Can I ask you another question?" he said slowly.

"As long as you don't make me do any more thinking." Jim picked up a small pillow from beside him and put it behind his head with a groan. "And as long as you ask very quietly."

Artie paused for a long moment until Jim opened one eye and looked at him. "Do you still have those nightmares you told me about?" he finally asked.

Jim closed his eyes. "Sometimes I do, Pal. Sometimes I still have them."

END


End file.
